Boy Bewildered

I've been online way too long, and I'm going to write.

The world still makes no sense at this time of night, which is reassuring. Continuity is important, right? Yesterday a cokehead threatened to smash my head in, for looking at his imaginary girlfriend.

I've changed... I can't revel in being the best at anything, because I've worked for it, same as everyone else. It used to be constant triumph, and it felt great. But graft has taken the shine right off of it.
I don't know. I like achieving still, and winning. But I know it's not a fair playing field. Competing with me for some people is like racing a horse. I'm not that amazing, but it comes easy to me sometimes.

I don't like the feeling any more though. I push myself now. My limits aren't 'one more than he got', but something fun. I want to fight my way into a position where exams flee my knowledge and I know I've got 96+% the moment I walk out.

The most satisfying taskmaster is myself. (not making sense, so bye!!!)

p.s. hugs and kisses for everybody.