Click Here
Friday, November 26, 2004
Ohh... Tonight was the party I had mentioned. It was crap. My sole ex (called... Maria) ended up getting off with some boy who claimed to be an old mate of mine. The other people I knew kept with their lousy girlfriends. I don't understand it all really, but hey.
I mean I don't get why you would honestly keep a 'girl-counter' for the evening when your girlfriend is with you. Or why someone can't see that their girlfriend isn't that kind of girl, and that gratuitous affection isn't welcome.
So I stood on my own, dancing to my own beat in my own not-caring (ish) way. Or with whatever people didn't look apathetic. I had fun, especially looking at the suits of other people. Awards in my head went to the beautiful tie guy and beautiful hair guy.
In my head, parties are always beautiful and I have life-enhancing discussion with someone for hours. In reality the people who talk to me are either witty for a minute, or looking for a friend of mine. And the music's too loud and by the time I accept it, the party is over.
Unrelatedly, this morning I walked to school, and slowed up for someone behind me to catch up. When she did she walked straight past, not saying anything or looking or acknowledging. Which set a tone for the day.
Oh, on the party. The guy Maria's with is awkward, tall, and 'courteous'. Which is, when I say it, chauvinistic. Maybe I'm jealous? I thought so too, but... If she's happy with him something's wrong. He's awkward and too possessive and oh, it'll end in tears but it's up to her. He escorted her to the door, made me guard her until the lift arrived.
Anyway, tomorrow's Saturday and Sunday I will see Daphney, who brightens my life until she leaves me again (to go home...) And apologies for any crap writing, but I'm tired and hot.
Byeee
I mean I don't get why you would honestly keep a 'girl-counter' for the evening when your girlfriend is with you. Or why someone can't see that their girlfriend isn't that kind of girl, and that gratuitous affection isn't welcome.
So I stood on my own, dancing to my own beat in my own not-caring (ish) way. Or with whatever people didn't look apathetic. I had fun, especially looking at the suits of other people. Awards in my head went to the beautiful tie guy and beautiful hair guy.
In my head, parties are always beautiful and I have life-enhancing discussion with someone for hours. In reality the people who talk to me are either witty for a minute, or looking for a friend of mine. And the music's too loud and by the time I accept it, the party is over.
Unrelatedly, this morning I walked to school, and slowed up for someone behind me to catch up. When she did she walked straight past, not saying anything or looking or acknowledging. Which set a tone for the day.
Oh, on the party. The guy Maria's with is awkward, tall, and 'courteous'. Which is, when I say it, chauvinistic. Maybe I'm jealous? I thought so too, but... If she's happy with him something's wrong. He's awkward and too possessive and oh, it'll end in tears but it's up to her. He escorted her to the door, made me guard her until the lift arrived.
Anyway, tomorrow's Saturday and Sunday I will see Daphney, who brightens my life until she leaves me again (to go home...) And apologies for any crap writing, but I'm tired and hot.
Byeee
