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Monday, June 28, 2004

Man... My mood is perfectly proportional to how much sleep I've had. I haven't had much sleep. So like...

I'm at a loose end... A completely raggedy frayed, loose end that needs to be burnt back into the plastic rope. Ohhh... I know I don't have... Or shouldn't even. Shouldn't make other people miserable to suit my mood. Should get more sleep. Should rejoice in what I have.
But like I feel so alone at the moment. Anyone I want... Need. Doesn't need me at all.

I don't... I want... I know people don't see the world like I do. Not all of them. But... It's so hard to appreciate that. I'd love some girl to look at me crazily, and ask my number. I wanna meet someone sitting on a gravestone, who has a flower in their hair.

And I'd fall madly into a stupor of love with them, but people... Don't. She doesn't want a 'big relationship'? She says she's 'like the worst relationship person ever'. But... C'mon. What she means is she doesn't want ME (well duh).
But I can sorta take that ish I guess... I can work on it maybe, who knows (not optimistic). But like. If she's given up on RELATIONSHIPS??? I wanna reach out some healing hands and show her how nice people can be...

But hopefully she just means she doesn't want me, and that someday she'll find the man she wants and have her separate house and call her son Jack Wolf Cobain and have me round for dinner once in a while...
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