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Monday, January 19, 2004
I'm getting more worried about the susceptibility of my sub-conscious self to external influences.
All my dreams basically reflect whatever I have been reading/thinking about that day.
Last night's dream was... disturbing?
I was playing counterstrike in a darkened room, with my ex, on live.
It was odd though. I was in first person (this is normal in my dreams), playing. Normally in a dream I may use a controller while actually being in the body: same here, I think...
Anyway it was a game, and I spawned in a doorway. After one death, I got the hang of it. I saw a toilet cubicle open slightly: I waited behind it, breath drawn. I readied the knife, then assaulted the boy coming out: Knife in front of throat, commando style.
He wouldn't just die though: I had to saw at his head, and whenever I was playing it took SUCH effort to kill someone: it was really hard...
Then I stopped playing, in the darkened room.
My ex was near me: it was so sensual. I pulled her down to me: we kissed.
It was the worst kiss ever. The worst dream kiss ever, the worst ever kiss anywhere.
She machine-gunned my mouth.
But I didn't care.
Then I woke up.
All my dreams basically reflect whatever I have been reading/thinking about that day.
Last night's dream was... disturbing?
I was playing counterstrike in a darkened room, with my ex, on live.
It was odd though. I was in first person (this is normal in my dreams), playing. Normally in a dream I may use a controller while actually being in the body: same here, I think...
Anyway it was a game, and I spawned in a doorway. After one death, I got the hang of it. I saw a toilet cubicle open slightly: I waited behind it, breath drawn. I readied the knife, then assaulted the boy coming out: Knife in front of throat, commando style.
He wouldn't just die though: I had to saw at his head, and whenever I was playing it took SUCH effort to kill someone: it was really hard...
Then I stopped playing, in the darkened room.
My ex was near me: it was so sensual. I pulled her down to me: we kissed.
It was the worst kiss ever. The worst dream kiss ever, the worst ever kiss anywhere.
She machine-gunned my mouth.
But I didn't care.
Then I woke up.