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Monday, January 12, 2004
Hey.
I have been a-ruminating on pain versus pleasure: specifically self-harm versus masturbation.
Well, what are they both? Both are undertaken by oneself, upon oneself.
There is a large area for overlap.
Masturbation is a pleasurable, shall we say, pasttime when taken in moderation.
Yet all too many people, in the experience of mine, become addicted. The ritual of pleasure, from beginning to ecstatic climax, becomes devaluing.
The best article I have seen on this is actually about porn: but the symptoms seem to be the same -- the devaluing and increased search for new interesting things.
http://www.guardian.co.uk/weekend/story/0,3605,1079016,00.html
The limited experience I have of self harm is similar. I have thought to myself of the dangers about the addiction of it. It requires a conscious effort not to think: hey, it's nothing bad.
I think that the experience of the knife is bad, was bad. The same as I feel that the first time of discovery of my post-childhood self was.
Both may continue to be a spiralling problem.
But i think I've got it under control.
The only thing that I can know though, is that to me, they are one and the same.
I have been a-ruminating on pain versus pleasure: specifically self-harm versus masturbation.
Well, what are they both? Both are undertaken by oneself, upon oneself.
There is a large area for overlap.
Masturbation is a pleasurable, shall we say, pasttime when taken in moderation.
Yet all too many people, in the experience of mine, become addicted. The ritual of pleasure, from beginning to ecstatic climax, becomes devaluing.
The best article I have seen on this is actually about porn: but the symptoms seem to be the same -- the devaluing and increased search for new interesting things.
http://www.guardian.co.uk/weekend/story/0,3605,1079016,00.html
The limited experience I have of self harm is similar. I have thought to myself of the dangers about the addiction of it. It requires a conscious effort not to think: hey, it's nothing bad.
I think that the experience of the knife is bad, was bad. The same as I feel that the first time of discovery of my post-childhood self was.
Both may continue to be a spiralling problem.
But i think I've got it under control.
The only thing that I can know though, is that to me, they are one and the same.
