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Monday, January 12, 2004

Did I mention that I was cutting my arms yesterday?
I had never done it before.
I have no idea of the rationality behind it. If I had been allowed I would've just been online. But I was in bed.
The first thing is that my knife was kinda blunt. So it took a lot of work to cut myself.
Then it stung.
And no one noticed.

I wanted them to. I wanted my mother, who works with people who have been sectioned, to notice and ask, and for me to look at her and say: what? I can express myself if I want. And to see her fear.

It was purely out of... boredom? It can't have been. I don't know. There must be some sort of underlying... Cause.
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